That's Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes Or Breaks Relationships (1986)

By Deborah Tannen

"This book gives a linguist's view of what makes conversation exhilarating or frustrating.  Through the lens of linguistic analysis of conversational style, it shows how communication works - and fails to work.  The aim is to let you know you're not alone and you're not crazy - and to give you more choice in continuing, ending, or improving communication in your private and public life."